I loved Get Smart. (If you’ve never heard of it, delete this blog and go back to updating your cat’s relationship status on Facebook.)

After too much Maxwell Smart and spending my life coaching people who win business for a living, I wondered if there was a parallel –what if every sales team had its own Get Smart characters.

Take a look around the cubicles and see if you recognise these people.

Max – Senior BDM

He is committed to the cause. Absolutely loves the Chief. Puts in the hours but bumbles his way through deals without really knowing where he’s going. Always has a convoluted strategy. Forever on his shoe-phone.  Sees competitors as using ‘the old, slash and burn discounted pricing trick, eh?’ Survives all manner of disasters, changes and restructures….and loving it!

99 – Sales Specialist

She is calm, professional, assured and loves the company. 99 sees what’s really going on well in advance of her peers. Despite this insight, they don’t listen to her. Handles client issues beautifully and gets everyone out of the poo. 99 always comes up with the winning plan and then watches everyone else take the credit for it.

Chief – Sales Director

Always exasperated. He doesn’t understand how he ended up with a team like this. Would love to sack Max but he always seems to just make it through every challenge. The Chief can’t believe it always has to be this hard and dreams of a simpler life without Max insisting on the ‘cone of silence’ to discuss major deals.

Hymie – Pre-Sales Manager

Hymie is robotic. Same structure. Same monotone conversation. Same methodology. He processes information and facts, takes everything literally and is neat, loyal and efficient.

Siegfried – Sales Operations/Procurement/Finance

Also known as the sales prevention unit, Siegfried has his own methods and processes and will not tolerate going outside the rules. You want demo equipment –Nein! Special Pricing –Nein! Did you fill in ze correct form? Dummkopf!

He always has an offsider (Shtarker) who wants to help you bend the rules but always gets caught ending with a thunderous Siegfried bollicking because he let an order go out to a desperate client without approval.

This leads to the infamous ‘Shtarker, ‘Zis is KAOS….ve don’t do (insert creative sales strategy) here.

Agent 13 –Remote Branch Manager

Out of Sight. Out of Mind. Never thought of until he’s absolutely necessary. Finds himself in all manner of weird and interesting deals because no one is really monitoring what’s he’s doing every day. Complains about his isolation, but secretly loves the freedom it gives him.

Did you take a look around the office? Have fun figuring out who’s who.

 

Who have I missed? Email me: elliote@salientcommunication.com.au

 

Written by Elliot Epstein, CEO, Salient Communication

 

Elliot is a keynote speaker and executive level trainer who has coached and trained over 4000 people throughout the Asia Pacific Region including CEOs, Sales Leaders, Sales Teams, Olympians and Leadership teams and is a sought after keynote speaker on Executive Presentations, Sales, Negotiation and Leadership.

 

Elliot is based in Melbourne, Australia where he lives with his wife and two expensive children.

 

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